“Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!”

(Sorry. Had to get the Monty Python out of my head.)

Every so often—usually around the time of conference registrations—an email will pop up offering to sell me a list of various contractors, vendors, etc. The weirdest so far was a list of veterinary decision-makers across the globe. Not just in the US. The globe. I had no idea that was even a thing. I think of ‘veterinary decision-maker,’ and that’s me or James. 

Which made me wonder: what wacky email list did I land on? And how do I find the person that decided to sell my information to every marketing person in the universe? At this point, if I got something from Pluto offering drafting services, I would not be surprised. It’s like 2024 started, and the spam gods decided I wasn’t getting enough regular email to read. 

However, while I have become quite adept at blocking senders and dumping them into my junk folder, every once in a while I will take a peek to see what services they’re trying to sell: 3D rendering, business recruitment, marketing, accounting, janitorial. 

One of my favorites—and there’s been more than one company offering—has been user-interface/user-experience development services. Really? You are offering UI/UX development to someone that’s not a software company? That you can’t program your email creation software to filter out architects that are, well, architects who create architecture, does not instill a lot of confidence in your programming abilities. 

But the ones I really enjoy are those that comment about Spotted Dog, specifically how fantastic we are. 

“I’ve noticed successful companies like yours leading the way in the architectural industry.” Why yes, we are! Just not in the way you’re implying.

“I was looking through your website and your architectural creativity seems very fun. Love it!” Me too! I love the one project highlighted on my website. 

“I recently came across your Instagram page and was really impressed by your innovative approach to architecture.” Hmmmm… maybe I should check in with my publicist and ask exactly what they are posting. (Just kidding Waylon!) 

Years ago, with my old firm, as the school year was wrapping up, we received a resume and portfolio from a graduating architecture student that really stood out. Primarily because he could not have been farther from the mark about the work we did. He commented on how impressed he was with the way we embraced green design. 

Excuse me? Did you do any research? Did you not look at the website and notice all the exotic veneers? When it comes to green design, I often tell people that we’ve had past clients who would mow down a rainforest if they could get the right veneer. Or when they looked at the cost of including green design would opt instead to get the Dornbracht faucet they’ve had their eye on. 

On the other hand, this student at least did enough research to know we were an architecture firm. And no, we didn’t need janitorial services.