With my first blog post, I noted that sometimes I would be talking about architecture. Other times I would be focused on queer issues (although at the time I wrote LGBT instead of queer – interesting). And at times, those two would intersect.

This is not one of those times. This is going to be unapologetically queer. So buckle up.

Watching Republicans, Evangelicals, and Republican Evangelicals over the last year has reinforced one long held belief for me (and I suspect other queers as well): they are less concerned with solving real issues – ranging from housing to wage inequity to immigration – and much more interested in my junk and what exactly I’m doing with it.

Except I cannot fathom what is so special about queer people’s bits, baubles, and what we’re doing with them that warrants such attention. While I can’t speak for anyone else, this queer man doesn’t spend his time wondering what Mitch McConnell, Matt Gaetz, or Marjorie Taylor Greene are up to in private. Just the thought makes me queasy, although I am curious if Mitch wears his turtle shell in bed.

Which leaves me wondering what exactly is driving Republican need to control queer people’s private lives. Are they afraid to tackle the real issues Americans face day to day? Are they afraid people will realize they don’t have any solutions? Are they only worried about getting reelected?

Or is it just the icky butt stuff? Because straight men (and by extension I’m lumping in Republican legislators sans George Santos) don’t seem to have an issue with lesbian porn. Just whether or not lesbians should have any civil rights. Or any queer person for that matter.

I understand that this isn’t anything new. The queer community has been on government radar for decades, from the Lavender Scare in the 50s to local police raids of gay bars and general harassment of the queer community. We’ve also had the added fun of people like Jerry Falwell and his Moral Majority. 

Of course, we can’t forget former Miss America contestant and orange juice spokeswoman Anita Bryant opposing gay rights by claiming gays would be recruiting children. Amazing how that’s come full circle given the number of times Republicans have recently claimed they are protecting children from indoctrination.

Or maybe they’re not worried about the icky butt stuff at all. Listening to them talk, I’m starting to think their real concern is about penises. Theirs and anyone else’s.

Discussion around transgender competition in sports always centers around transgender girls and women. Never transgender boys or men. Just girls and women. Transgender girls and women have an unfair advantage because they really are boys. They’re going to ruin women’s sports because they used to have a penis or perhaps still have one. Republican men have to protect women and girls, because we all have heard about the massive number of transgender girls flooding high school sports.

Oddly, we never hear this discussion around transgender men and how they are taking opportunities away from cisgender male athletes. And I have seen enough transgender men to know that 1) pretty hot; and 2) they would give any guy on a rugby field a hard run for the money.

Except that would be facts getting in the way of demonizing what the queer community is doing and who we’re doing that with. No, we’re not indoctrinating or recruiting your children. (As if we get a free toaster or air miles every time we sign someone up.) We’re not trying to ruin competition in the sports arena. And we really could care less where you put your junk as long as it’s consensual and within the law.

So stop thinking so much about what the queer community is doing and spend a little more time on what really is going to impact everyone. And I know that solving social issues is boring. However, this is the type of legislating that needs to be done, not Marjorie Taylor Greene flashing Hunter Biden’s dick pics during a House Oversight Committee hearing. That’s not going to make things better for anyone.