I turned a speed limit this week. At least that’s how I’m choosing to look at my birthday this year. And as much as I’d like that limit to be somewhere in the 40s, that ship sailed already and has run aground at 55. Not that anyone drives 55 anymore unless they’re in an active school zone.
As with every birthday, there was the phone call from my father, who always sings to me a quick Happy Birthday. He turns 80 this August and will probably continue to serenade me until he can’t remember the song or who he’s singing it to. But a long way to go until that happens, so there’s hope for me yet.
He was nice enough to warn me this year to be aware of AARP. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that those heartless bastards sent the first member packet to me two days before I turned 50. Somehow that ended up in the trash, along with all the follow-up mail. At some point they gave up, but James has had a similar experience this past year. Nice to see those envelopes not addressed to me.
Then my sister texted me a happy birthday with the comment: “May today be the first day of many great senior discounts.” Really? Senior discounts? That’s where we’re going? Nothing like counting on your siblings to share their love and wisdom. I should have reminded her that she is two years senior, and I’m not above crimping her oxygen hose when we’re older.
After a minute, however, I got to thinking what could be so bad about senior discounts. Free coffee wherever I go? Discounted movie tickets? Some quick Googling revealed a laundry list of potential savings. However, I don’t know if I want to have dinner at four in the afternoon just to shave a few dollars off the bill.
Besides, someone can surely come up with discounts that really have an impact. The two-for-one special on hip replacement. A triple bypass for the same price as a double. The second cataract replacement for half-off. Free Depends after every colonoscopy, just to be safe. That’s where the savings really add up.
But discounts and all the possibilities aside, I did have one realization that made me laugh. After all the joking this past year, the conversations with various architecture friends across the country, and even the blog post in February, I suppose I am now officially the “senior” gay.Surely there’s a discount for that?
