James and I are not football fans. In general, I would say we aren’t really sports fans. For me, tennis was fun for a while. Then for some strange reason I really enjoyed watching golf – even pre-Tiger – while James would rather stick a fork in an outlet. But I found the combination of nerve-wracking missed putts and calm commentary oddly soothing.
Consequently, the odds of us watching the Super Bowl this year (or any) were non-existent. “You aren’t even going to watch the commercials and the halftime show?” That would be a hard pass. I was sure Bad Bunny’s performance was going to be a spectacle. However, I didn’t feel the need to carve the time out of my day just to watch that. Besides, I can always find it online.
Except now I’m a little disappointed I didn’t tune in. Not for missing Lady Gaga, or Ricky Martin, or the waving grass. I’m disappointed because apparently, the halftime performance depicted gay pornography. And we missed it.
You too?
I’m sure a lot of people are wondering which part of the show involved gay porn. But according to US House Rep. Andy Ogles from Tennessee, “Children were forced to endure explicit displays of gay sexual acts.” Somewhere in the midst of the singing and dancing and the straight wedding, I guess he thought he saw a couple of guys busy going at it. Were the ladies not allowed to?
My favorite comment I read was if he was sure he was watching the halftime show and not actual gay porn. Fair enough, I suppose. He is a Republican. Wouldn’t be the first time one of them was caught in the closet.
But after all the political hubbub around the performance being in Spanish; the uproar about why a US citizen wasn’t asked to perform (except Bad Bunny is); the idea that Bad Bunny wasn’t representative of America, I didn’t have “gay porn at the Super Bowl” on my 2026 Bingo card.
Forget that the people can’t afford housing or that food costs are going up. Forget that we have an administration full of billionaires supporting other billionaires. Forget that we have a president who can’t seem to have a coherent thought. Rep. Ogles believes the Committee on Energy and Commerce should be investigating this appalling performance of twerking, grinding, and pelvic thrusting.
Because isn’t this what we’ve come to expect from Congressional Republicans? Zero focus on the issues that matter to their constituents and instead on make-believe cultural affronts. ICE agents are yanking people out of cars and arresting US citizens, but time needs to be wasted getting to the bottom of whether or not the halftime show was too risqué for America’s youth.
Except the more I think about it, the more I want to be in that hearing. Forget watching it on C-SPAN. I’m in the audience with a bucket of popcorn, looking for the diagrams showing the exact moment of gay porn depiction. Especially when some staffer has to explain to a 70-year-old Congressman who was grinding on whom and what twerking is.
Because I’m sure, despite Rep. Ogles belief that true naughtiness was going on, they aren’t going to find anything nefarious. This is just more self-righteous pearl clutching to show how moral he is and distract from his own lackluster performance as a congressman.
But you can be sure I’ll be watching the future Super Bowl halftime shows just in case I’m wrong.
