Saying life in the U.S. is chaotic feels like an understatement. Especially when every day brings more teeth-grinding news from the White House. Whether that’s National Guard members and federal agents wandering the streets of D.C., Republicans working to rig the midterms through a mid-census redistricting, or Congressional Republicans stripping Medicaid for parts to pay for billionaire tax breaks.
Yet once in a while, amidst all the chaos, a bright spot comes shining through. The one nugget that makes you roll your eyes and giggle at the same time. That piece of news you cannot help but make fun of. Because with everything happening in the world—from the U.S. to Israel to Ukraine—the most important issue at the moment is that Nancy Mace needs the loo.
While announcing her run for South Carolina governor, the Republican House Rep went a bit overboard in hoping to secure an endorsement from Cheeto Von Tweeto. To commemorate her valiant efforts to “protect women” from men using the ladies’ room, Mace only had one ask from the Manchurian Cantaloupe: a plaque over one of the women’s restrooms in the future presidential library and tire care center that contained her name and the phrase, “Only Women Here.”
Where is Saturday Night Live when you need them?
Because even I can go down the rabbit hole that is Nancy Mace, a restroom, and a commemorative plaque. What makes sense to me would be to honor her throughout the restroom instead of a simple plaque—from toilet seat covers to lining each toilet bowl with her face. After all, she’s spent 2025 spewing all sorts of BS about the trans community. Why not have her swallow that with every flush?
Except that focusing on Nancy seems so limited. If we’re going to be honoring Republican politicians at the president’s library, we should honor everyone, not just her. For example, we could have the Mitch McConnell Turtle Exhibit at the petting zoo. The Kristi Noem Hall of Faces could display the before-and-after photos of various cabinet members and presidential advisors. Then there’s the Republican Ball Pit without any balls. If this year has taught us anything, very few in Congress have shown the nerve to stand up to the Trumpster Fire. Perhaps we can combine the Pit with weekly dog-training lessons where Republicans are taught to roll over. Or we place it adjacent to the Lindsey Graham Glory Hole to show them how sucking up is really done.
Unfortunately, we have to get through the next 3½ years at a minimum before we can make any of these ideas come to fruition. In the meantime, what about poor Nancy? Will she get her plaque? Or will she just have to keep her legs crossed and hope he remembers?
