Instagram has been feeding me reel after reel of gay couples renovating their homes. Not sure if that’s because I’m gay. Or an architect. Or both. No complaints, really. Some of the renovations and houses are amazing. I just had no idea there were that many gay men who could do construction. Lesbians, sure. But gay guys?
And yes, that reeks of stereotyping. Not all boys play with dolls and all girls with power tools. The boys also love wandering about Homo Depot looking for supplies for their next project. Yet I know of only one gay contractor in Dallas. Like me not being the only gay architect, I have no doubt he’s not the lone contractor.
However, when we talk about building within the queer community, my mind doesn’t always skip to construction. Being an architect, I suppose it should. But queers of every color, gender, and orientation have spent decade upon decade building without coming close to architecture.
How many times have we heard someone speak about their chosen family? Not every coming out ends the way we hope. Teenagers still end up homeless—or worse. Communication with parents and siblings comes to an end. So we turn to the people around us to build a new family. We find our friends—our tribe—that gets us through the ups and downs, the holidays, and major life events.
At the same time, we’re also building different communities within the queer community. First to come to my mind would be Bears, but then I’ve spent more than a few years around them. One could argue that we need to come together more than create different cliques, as we can be very exclusionary. However, history indicates we do act as one community when the need arises. I hope that continues to be the case.
We are also out there building neighborhoods—and not necessarily one renovation at a time. From Greenwich Village to the Castro to Montrose to Oak Lawn to Dupont Circle, we somehow find a part of the city to call home. And I don’t know for sure what draws us into particular areas. Perhaps one or two intrepid queers looking for cheap real estate? It’s not like city planners were looking at a map and thinking, “We’ll put the gays here.”
We’ve also been great about building movements. Stonewall didn’t happen in a vacuum, nor did the marches across the U.S. in the years after and since. Opposition to the Briggs Initiative in California. The push for same-sex marriage. ACT UP forcing the government’s hand in developing treatments to counter AIDS. All movements from within the queer community.
And there are specific buildings that have been created for queer communities. Churches, community centers, bars, and retirement communities come to mind. Queer—and straight—architects have provided the physical spaces where we can feel safe and continue to grow.
Of course, while we’re busy continuing to build the queer community, I am happy to get renovation porn via Instagram. I am, after all, old enough to remember watching This Old House and thinking how brilliant that was. Now I don’t even have to turn on the TV.
