This last week or so was rough. Although to be fair, the year so far hasn’t been stellar. But to watch the stock market collapsing—along with our retirement accounts—wasn’t on anyone’s 2025 bingo card. Then whiplash while it bounces up, down, and sideways did not elevate the mood. Plus 145% tariffs on goods from China? So much for hitting up Amazon for some retail therapy. If Trump and his cronies had any clue about what they were doing, we would at least feel a bit better.
But in lieu of that, and in the midst of what feels like absolute crazy, something comes across Instagram that restores my faith in humanity. Or provides a needed moment of levity.
Third Pooping Incident in Line at Guardians of the Galaxy Attraction Causes Closure
Pardon? Did I read that correctly? And how do you pass that up? How do you not stop and read that? Because there are so many questions.
Is this post from The Onion? Nope. That would, in my head at least, make sense. Nothing like a little story from them to show up at a random moment—or for people to start forwarding it as fact. We are talking about social media and people with a lot of extra time. Very easy to get something to go viral that isn’t real.
What about the Guardians of the Galaxy attraction prompts one to poop? Maybe there’s a scare factor that some people just cannot handle. But that would mean more than three people pooping, right? Or is this an ongoing thing that people just don’t want to report? I don’t imagine that would be the best conversation to have. Yet I would hope parkgoers would have the courtesy to let the ride operator know they left a gift behind.
Did these three people simply poop and walk away? Like, at a moment of pique irritation, when no one’s around, they just let go? Maybe as protest against Disney? Or Marvel Studios’ insistence that you wait until the end of every movie to see some last scene? You can only cross your legs so long before you have to flee the theater. Perhaps this is their way of saying the line at the attraction is just too long.
And finally, who was given the gift of coming up with that headline? Usually, it’s not the person who writes the story. However, I’d like to think they had some suggestions. I don’t know how you write about that and not have the most inappropriate things run through your head. First word that comes to my mind is “Rocket.” And surely there’s something about Groot.
Of course, there’s more to the story than just the headline. And unless Disney makes an official statement, we aren’t likely to hear it—especially from any of the responsible parties.
However, in all the doom scrolling, in the constant onslaught of bad news out of DC, I do enjoy the occasional distraction like this. If nothing else, it’s a good reminder to not take myself—and life—too seriously. And enjoy a bit of levity where I can.
