I cannot speak for everyone. However, I feel safe in saying that for the queer community, the first two months of this year have been quite intense. Bad enough that we woke up the morning after the election to realize King Musk Trump would be in charge for the next four years, unspooling every bad idea from the Project 2025 playbook. But to see it happening in real time has been something altogether different.
Which is a perfect reason to stop for a moment and take a break. With the onslaught of news coming from DC, the postings on social media, and the general discussion within our own groups about what may come, getting overwhelmed doesn’t take much. I was feeling some of that before the election, and no one even knew what was really going to happen.
Lucky for me, I already had a trip planned to see my friend Bill in Denver last weekend. Usually I try and pop up there at least once a year, although not quite this early for fear of bad weather. To be fair, I went one year at the end of April and it still snowed. So no telling.
Except with his fiancé moving to Denver mid-March, I thought the end of February would be the perfect time to have one last martini and gossip night with just us. Sure we text all the time, but there’s something special about sitting in his den, sipping martinis, and getting all the tea on what’s been happening in Denver.
I had no idea just how much I would need that.
And we all need that every once in a while. We tend to be in go-mode most of the year. We do have jobs and lives to attend to. But getting completely wrapped up in that takes a toll, and there’s only so much anxiety medication you can take. Or wine you can drink. Take your pick.
It’s like back in the day when you’d be watching some drama on TV – before you streamed everything – and in the middle of some tension filled moment, they’d shift to a commercial break. You could breathe for a moment. Maybe pee. Or just sit on the edge of your seat waiting for the commercials to be over. But you still had a break.
Versus streaming something now, when they’ve dropped an entire series for you to binge. James and I just finished watching Black Doves on Netflix (thank God it was only six episodes), and for the entire run of each episode, I sat on the sofa tensed up. Even with the final episode, I kept waiting for a shoe to drop. And you don’t want to hit the pause button because by the middle of the show, you’re invested.
Which is how the last two months have felt. We are wrapped up in the drama happening around us, and we sit there with bated breath, completely invested in the shit show happening around us. Politicians and pundits will tell you that is intentional with the new administration. Flood the zone with shit, and then do the really nasty stuff under the radar while everyone is distracted. I think we already know that, but sometimes that’s hard to just turn off.
So remember to take a commercial break once in a while. Spend a weekend without the news or social media (put down the iPad!). Play games with friends. Go visit someone you haven’t seen in a while. Take a moment to be gracious with yourself and let the drama unspool without you. Enjoy the beer commercials and the ads for the latest miracle drugs.
The drama will still be here when you get back, and with any luck, you’ll have a fresh perspective on how the show might go.
