“Defensive is always better. It’s better to not lose what you have.”
That’s an actual quote and probably the dumbest advice I’ve heard when talking about advocacy. What’s surprising – and perhaps a bit alarming – is that the person who offered up that little nugget of wisdom is the chief advocacy officer at AIA National.
He might as well have suggested we hunker down and pray for daylight.
A friend shared the quote with me while she was having dinner with the advocacy officer and other AIA leaders and members. By the end of the night, her general impression was “douchebag,” but the kind that’s connected to the right people and has a sense for navigating the political sphere. Definitely not the person to bring for drinks with a group of empathetic architects.
Or a group of queer architects.
“Defensive is always better.” Logically, if I’m advocating for something, isn’t that because I’m already on the defensive? If I didn’t feel attacked or marginalized, I can’t say I would be protesting, writing letters, or trying to make my voice – or the voices of my community – heard. I think that’s how that works.
After the last few legislative sessions and listening to the noise coming from the current presidential election, being defensive does feel like the right stance to take. Bans on queer books. Bans on gender-affirming care. Bans on transgender athletes. That has made a lot of queer people and their allies defensive. A chief advocacy officer should realize that and offer advice on how we can get our profession and our professional organization to advocate for us.
Instead, we hear that “it’s better to not lose what you have.” Except at this rate, we won’t have anything left, and keeping the status quo won’t change that. No group ever made progress by sitting back and hoping for the best.
Imagine telling the Black community that the back of the bus is fine. At least they get to ride the bus. Or that not having a dream is okay. Just be happy with what you have, lest someone else takes that away too.
Or telling women their lives were fine when they couldn’t vote. When they couldn’t have a bank account or credit card without their husband’s permission. When they had zero access to birth control and abortion. I’m not going to try and convince anyone of that, but you feel free and tell me how that goes.
As part of the queer community, I guess I would’ve been fine if the police continued to raid bars, beat patrons, and arrest them. Perfectly fine being denied jobs and housing. More than content to have employers fire me for having a boyfriend.
And as a gay man, I don’t know why everyone was so upset when AIDS struck the community. Sure, people were dying in droves, but no reason to get upset that the federal government wasn’t taking the crisis seriously. We still got to go to bars and dance. Wasn’t that enough?
Change sometimes requires making a stink. For marginalized groups, sticking to the status quo and being happy with what we have is not acceptable. Change often requires repeated protest. It requires going on the offensive. It requires advocacy.
To hear an advocacy officer say otherwise makes me question their ability to advocate for anyone – much less queer architects. So thanks, but no thanks. The queer community – architects and all – will continue to push for change. Otherwise, we are advocating for nothing.
